Ours: Football

This event was one of our contributions to Leeds Lit Fest   #LLF20

New Headingley Club - Friday 6 March 2020

Ours: Football by Lee Ingham

Richard Wilcocks writes:
I was the interviewer on this occasion, and can say with confidence that in terms of good-humoured openness and loud responsiveness, the capacity audience (75) in the New Headingley Club was one of the best ever. It was united in its passion for the game of football, and a number of rival teams were represented by vocal supporters: Burnley and Leeds, for a start. There were similarities with other large audiences that Headingley LitFest has called to the Club in past years, but obvious differences too. Similarities include the facts that it was mainly middle-aged and contained people who asked the author, Lee Ingham, how he had planned the book and how long it had taken him to complete, questions which turn up whenever visiting novelists are on stage. Differences include the overwhelming maleness when most LitFest audiences have a majority of women, and a sense of surprise amongst many that a non-fiction book about football and its future could be included in a festival and be categorised as literature.

Lee Ingham's book, his debut work, counts as an item in the comprehensive world of literature for me, undoubtedly. He was inspired to write it after attending a Headingley LitFest event three years ago when James Brown promoted his book of footballing memoirs and opinions 'Above Head Height'. Lee's book runs along similar lines, and is funnier. As well as the game, it is about male and family bonding, childhood memories, the need for community spirit and standing up to corporate, money-grubbing powers. There are fascinating snippets of historical information, for example that the Inghams of the 16th century owned land which incorporated Turf Moor, now the site of Burnley Football Club stadium, information which Lee found in a book called 'The Lancashire Witchcraft Conspiracy'! There is plenty about his opinionated Dad, who turns up in a number of anecdotes, for example in a memory of Lee's first game at Turf Moor for Burnley against Liverpool:

...the thing I remember most was Tommy Smith...picking the ball up to take a throw in directly in front of me and my Dad. At which stage my Dad shouted out to the hard man of football: "Smith, you big pudding." To which, Smith (ball in hand) turned round and out of the back of his hand told my Dad to "fuck off!" Tommy Smith swore at my Dad! I remember walking back up Centenary Way after the game and thinking, the Inghams have arrived on the world stage of football.

Lee read out a series of whole chapters, all of them short, gathering confidence as he proceeded. He added asides and comments to accounts of the kit he is used to wearing, watching the game on television, talking about the game in the pub (often Woodies in Headingley) and favourite Burnley chants. His amusing, self-deprecatory style won everybody over, and all the teasing was friendly.

It was an event of two halves, and the interval had to be extended due to the popularity of the pie and peas which were served in generous portions. We have served cake slices at LitFest gatherings before, but never pie and peas. Something to think of to do again? 

The second half was more serious, addressing the 'Ours' part of the title. We looked around. Not many women. Just a few from minority groups. A couple of young people (well, it was Friday evening). How many young people go to matches nowadays without their parents? I nearly mentioned that the same question applied to classical music concerts. What's the attraction of going to a match nowadays anyway, now that it's sit-down only? With proper barriers in place, why can't people stand? Now that the Elland Road stadium has been more or less cleansed of racist chanters and hooligans, what's the problem? 

Football is no longer the be-all-and-end-all in my life, said Lee, mainly because it has been so corrupted by the vast sums of money involved and by the needs of television schedulers. What happened to the old Saturdays where you began the day with reading the football section in the newspaper over your breakfast, then journeyed to the ground to watch your team? It was engineered to fit into your day off. Lee is furious. Why should people have to travel long journeys, sometimes at short notice, sometimes having to stay overnight? He adds: 'And that's why I do not have and never will have, Sky or BT Sport' and brings in an array of facts and figures about the financial sums involved, and the ways they skew decisions; '...for the 2019 - 22 seasons, games have been sold for £9.3 million per game, as opposed to the £10.2 million that they are currently being sold for'.

The answer is to Stanleyise the game. Accrington was one of the 12 founders of the football league, and now has a turnover of just £2 million per annum. It is a time capsule, and takes pride in belonging to its supporters and the town. Lee says, 'At my first ever visit to their ground I received a flavour of what football had lost and I can safely say that Accrington Stanley v Forest Green is one of the best footballing days I have ever had'. It's a big community success. And it even has a group of Norwegian supporters who fly over regularly.

Thanks to all who bought the book (now available on Amazon) and who donated for the pies and peas, the cost of the room and the Football Supporters Federation.

I Wouldn't Start from Here: The Second Generation Irish in Britain

One of Headingley LitFest's contributions to the Leeds Lit Fest 2020

5 March in Headingley Library

Conrad Beck writes:
More than fifty were there in Headingley Library, all of them appreciative, plenty of them as middle-aged as my diplomatic self and most of them, at a guess, with strong links to Ireland made by memories of living there, memories of long-ago childhoods or memories of stories told by parents. How many were second generation I do not know. The evening was, of course, about identity, a nebulous concept which has interested many an essayist, a word which can stir up stark sentiments, perhaps the equivalent of the German Heimat.  

Kath McKay

Kath McKay read from the contribution to the book of  one of those essayists, Moy McCrory: 'Memory and Authenticity' is a well-researched academic exploration of 'how the role of imagination and embellishment in storytelling contributes towards how we view the past as it challenges ideas of authenticity and belonging'. Ian Duhig spoke about his outsider childhood in London, where the Catholic secondary school he attended was divided into four houses - Irish, Italian, Polish and The Rest - until the system disintegrated. His contribution, 'The Road', full of literary references, was witty and laughter-provoking, for example when he got to this:

My father had been a wrenboy in his youth but when I mentioned this at a poetry reading once, I couldn't understand why people were coming up and congratulating me for my brave revelation: eventually, one of them explained that they all thought I'd said he was a "rent boy". 

Ray French spoke about his upbringing in England, his father's permanent state of rage at leaving behind a rural past by the sea where the most common meal was fish and potatoes, and the conflict about his identity:

Ray French

My mother however was delighted when I lost my accent. When I was eighteen she told me I was English.
    'How could I be English? I was born in Wales, you and dad are Irish. Where's the English in that?'
    'But you speak properly, not like me and your dad.' 

Teresa O'Driscoll

He compared the Irish to the Poles and the Italians.

The fiddle music before the first and second halves was provided by the brilliant Des Hurley and the equally brilliant young Owen Spafford. Teresa O'Driscoll sang a little (why so little?) and wore the best hat in the room.

All the books in a small consignment from the publisher (why so small?) were sold out in about thirty seconds. You can buy it online, published by Wild Geese Press in 2019.

Des Hurley and Owen Spafford listening, Ian Duhig speaking

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - Through the Portal

Marcia Cunningham (LCC), Rebecca Pettman (Head)
 and Corrie Blackstone (Year 5 teacher)

Quarry Mount poetry assembly, 

Thursday 27 February

In the light of the weather forecast for more light snow, I had expected to start this with the famous quote from the book, 'It was always winter but never Christmas.'   However, we were treated to bright sunlight streaming through the school hall windows on to the beaming faces of class 5.  Ms Blackstone's pupils were well rehearsed and up to the challenge of performing individual lines, or the whole thing, to a large room full of supportive and enthusiastic classes, parents, school staff and visitors.  No mean feat when you're only nine or ten.

Year 5 were studying the classic book by C S Lewis from the Chronicles of Narnia; local published author and poet James Nash took the theme of travelling through a wardrobe but instead through a portal to somewhere unexpected.  What would you find? Sense? Expect?  What could happen? From writing a myriad of ideas down, the young people shaped their ideas and words, learning new ones along the way.  (Who knew 'stanza' at that age?  They do now). They then set to writing their own accounts of their imaginary experiences, some frightening, some delightful, all  vivid.

As headteacher Rebecca Pettman said, “Having a Distinguished Visitor, a Proper Published Author, work with us is such a fantastic opportunity to encourage our youngsters to write and perform their own work.  I'm flabbergasted by the vocabulary they have used, and the confidence with which they stand in front of the packed hall to perform their work.”  As Corrie Blackstone, Year 5 class teacher, added, “ this gives individuals the freedom to express themselves in a context of their own choosing.  It builds on 'I Can!', not 'I Can't.”

For one young man this was the first time he had attempted to write a whole piece without help in all his time in the class.  And for another young lady with the disturbed background and English as a Second Language that many refugees have, her writing had developed by two years to stun and delight her teacher. 

Thanks again to the funding from Inner North West area management committee for supporting this work.  Thanks, too, to Headingley LitFest volunteer Rachel Harkess, who had assisted with the workshops in the classroom.

Report by Sally Bavage

Some of the lines the children wrote:

I'm running, running and running

The leaves felt cold, just like ice cream

I hear squeaky noises in the distance, my blood runs cold

There is no sky or sun, where am I?

I s[un around on the chair

Thinking what to do for work,

As soon as I blinked I was teleported to a fair.

I see a lamp-post which is rainbow-coloured

Next to it is an unfamiliar sweet shop

I travelled through a window and saw a treasure chest

I see stones around me, cut grass

I hear my frieds sniggering in the distance

They get fainter and fainter

All I can do is cry and panic

I was frightened by myself, without my brothers and sisters

I want to go home

And what had the children thought of the opportunity to write poetry in this way?

Poems don't have to rhyme!

How to get your ideas down first

How to edit and redraft

It helps your conscience grow

It's inspiring for other pupils

Reading your poem out

The Post Ram Tod Dynasty

Conrad Beck writes:

Cal (Doug Sandle)

Doug Sandle's new play, The Post Ram Tod Dynasty, refurbished from a radio play he wrote ages ago and which - mysteriously - was never broadcast, was given two brilliantly entertaining performances in the intimate but chilly (the heating was off) setting of the Meanwood Institute on Sunday 16 February.  The meaning of the odd title became clear in the opening five minutes: it is nearly an anagram of Tom Stoppard, the name of the famous playwright, in tandem with the word Dynasty. Cal, a playwright, is sitting at his desk wrestling with writer's block and scraping around for ideas, in the course of which he invokes the names of the likes of Stoppard, but to no avail, because he is interrupted first by his wife Ros, and then by their friends Linda and George. Perhaps they can help with what Cal describes as 'one of my existential fantasies'.



Cal (played by Doug Sandle in the afternoon and by Dave Robertson in the evening) seems to be stranded in Egypt, where the Professor Tompkin who has just popped into his head is in search of treasure. The waspish Linda (a beautifully nuanced performance from Jane Oakshott) suggests he bases his characters on the weather forecast and the determinedly placid Ros (a professional touch here from Maggie Mash) comes out with a frightening true story of when she was sitting in a train near a man who told her he was a psycho. George, who resents too much drama in his life (played by the intensely dramatic Murray Edscer) is taunted and pushed to the limits, because he cannot make out whether or not Cal is reading from a script. The atmosphere is almost calm, though, and they drink invisible whisky from a visible bottle, which Cal pours making glugging noises. We laugh. They are four credible characters in search of an author, perhaps, unlike the professor and Hilda, his nubile assistant in Cal's imagination, who could be extras in Murder on the Nile.

Ros (Maggie Mash), George (Murray Edscer), Cal and Linda (Jane Oakshott)

The atmosphere changes, first of all when George is made to answer questions about his childhood fears and phobias. Spiders are mentioned, ingredients in Doug Sandle's previous play last year. George storms out, soon followed by peace-making Ros. Alone with Cal, Linda declares her love to him, to his great embarrassment, and gets into quite a state. Cal can handle Hilda, but not her. Tremulous to begin with, Linda becomes extremely distraught. She locks herself in the bathroom, which along with everything else is behind a tiny screen in the corner of the tiny stage. All very dramatic, and when Ros returns with an apologetic George, to be joined by a back-to-normal Linda, it is time for the bourgeois delights of tea and sustainable olives accompanied by a delightful chunk of local cheddar. Soon, everybody is in tune with everybody else and Cal is back with the prof, still musing on the connections between real life and histrionic versions of it. It is a comedy after all.

While eating chocolate cake afterwards, members of the audience were wondering whether Doug Sandle has got any more radio plays stuffed into his bottom drawers. Let's hope he has.  

Three March events

Premiere of New Play by Ray Brown - Skybluepink- CANCELLED

SORRY! WE'VE HAD TO CANCEL DUE TO ILLNESS.

WE'LL TRY TO PUT THE PLAY ON LATER THIS YEAR.

[On the scrap heap, engineer Mal has 

lost everything: wife, job, house, self

respect. He demonstrates luxury tat to

those who can afford it.

Rich widow Anne is lonely in a 

meaningless world of electronic guard 

dog, imaginary mother, and Vlado the 

vodka bottle. 

Childhood sweethearts, they meet by 

chance and begin a life-changing 

journey of shocking truths, happy

memories, and increasing intoxication.] 

Written and directed by Ray Brown,

featuring Jem Dobbs and Maggi 

Stratford, this laughter and tears play

shines a light on desperate lives and illuminates late 20^th century Britain.

   

[7.30pm Tickets £6.] 

Maggi Stratford

Jem Dobbs

Ray Brown

 This event is one of our  contributions to the
 Leeds LitFest 2020






For ALL Leeds Lit Fest events, go to:
https://www.leedslitfest.co.uk/whats-on/